Even a cat can get motion sickness....jeez Mom!

Mom just doesn't get it. Ok, some things she gets- (pee on floor=trip to the V.E.T.), but other stuff (screaming cat=doesn't like car rides) goes right over her head. Someone needs to send mom a memo.

The good news is that it only took 2 weeks of peeing on the floor to convince Mom that I needed to go to see the V.E.T. I think the capper was that I tried the bathroom floor instead of the laundry room and Dad freaked. Now I know how to get attention faster for next time. Now, I really don't mind "the cage". Not that it's my favorite place to be, but it's relatively comfortable, and as long as Mom has washed it out, it doesn't reek to bad of Sibyl pee. I don't even mind the car......until it moves. Cats just weren't meant to move at that kind of speed. (Ok, maybe cheetahs- but I am hardly a cheetah.) And it doesn't matter how loud I yell, the car doesn't stop.

Then I get manhandled at the V.E.T., and Mom hands me over to get stabbed! Stabbed I tell you! Twice! The only bonus is that the firey pain in my tummy has been replaced by a nice fuzzy feeling. Mmmm....fuzzy. The car ride home wasn't so bad. But I still yelled for effect. Got to keep up appearances, you know.

I've been sleeping all day in my newest hiding place (Mom hasn't figured this one out yet).....'cause screaming really takes a lot out of you. Tomorrow Mom says we start the "pills". HA! I know what they are: nasty, chalky little things that they try to ram down my throat. They don't call me Houdini for nothing.......I have my ways. Little soggy pills seem to just appear out of nowhere on the floor about a half hour after they think I've swallowed them. I know nothing. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

But for now I'm going to go revel in my fuzzy feeling...I've got a couple hours before dinner to kill.


~Callie

Six Weird Things? How Rude!

I am not weird! I resemble that remark! I do have some unique qualities that make me irreplaceable.....I'll share those instead.

1. I am a princess. I am beautiful. You will all bow before me. Especially Grama.

2. I am a princess. I don't have to use the box. That's for peasants.

3. I am a princess. I scream at the top of my lungs for what I want. And I get it too.

4. I am a princess. You cannot stop my mandible of death. It just keeps growing back no matter how many times you remove it. In medieval times long fingernails were a sign of nobility........

5. I am a princess. I have a delicate constitution. Feed me inferior food and pay the price.....poopy bum for everyone!

6. I am a princess. But sometimes I dream that I am Super-cat, saving the world from the evil V-E-T. I can leap tall furniture in a single bound, run faster than a speeding vaccum, and knock out Dad with a single head-butt.

OK Mom, stop typing and open the sunroom. I want to watch birds.

~Callie

The Don's orders must be followed: 6 Things

I have my orders. Six weird things about me:

1. I am a 'hit-cat'. The Don gives the order- I make things 'dissapear'. Payment in toona, unmarked cans.

2. I am part squirrel. My tail- 'nuff said. It is my distinguishing feature. Like the assassin in Princess Bride with 6 fingers.....

3. I am 8 feet long. I haven't actually measured, so I could be off by a bit.

4. I am six-hundred pounds. And a panther. (read some Salvatore.....you'll see how deadly I am....)

5. I have a boyfriend. He can come in the house and share my treats when it's daytime. And I'll tear him a new....um......tear him apart when it's nighttime. And Callie too if she gets in the way.

6. I think I'm bi-polar. Nice kitty- Nasty kitty. It's a crapshoot.

Mission complete. Payment can be wire transferred to Mom & Dad for serving.

~Guen

Dadth calls me 'weird' all the time......

The Don has spoken, and I have to share sixth weird things about me. I had trouble deciding what wasth 'weird', but thanks to the helpth of Dadth and Guen (I'm not sure whether I'm actually thankful for Guen'ths contribution) I have come up with the following:

1. My eyes are HUGE. Momth says they are soulful.....I like Momth.

2. I get lost. Somewhere between the bed and the water dish I get all turned around and can't remember where I'm going. Momth always finds me after I start howling and takes me back to bed. I like Momth.

3. I have a shedding issue. When I'm nervous, I can drop my entire coat. Last time we went to the V-E-T, I was half-bald for two weeks afterwards. I peed on him too. But Momth still loves me. I like Momth.

4. I have no teeth. I was really sick when Momth found me. She said I was skinny then. I drooled a lot and couldn't keep my tongue in my mouth because my front teeth had fallen out from something called "malnutrition". A couple of years ago I got really sick again. Momth took me to the V-E-T and I had a nap and when I woke up all my teeth were gone. Now I get soft food......YUMMY! I still eat crunchies, but usually they are only a temporary meal and end up back on the carpet for Momth to clean up. I like Momth.

5. My favorite foods are pizza and chips. One might think it's the chez that makes pizza so appethithing......but it's the 'mato sauce. Chips are the bestest though. Salt and vinegar. Domitos aren't bad either. Really anything will do if it comes out of one of those crinkly bags. I can hear them opening a mile away from a dead sleep. Momth always gives me some. I like Momth.

6. This one isn't really about me. I have this toy. Momth bought it for me when I first came to live with her. It's had the crap beaten out of it, but it's MY toy. Momth and Dadth think it's weird....they can't figure out what it's supposed to be. It's black and furry, has an orange plastic head like a parrot, and orange plastic feet. Not bird feet......human feet. I call him BOB. And no matter how decrepit he gets, Momth won't throw him out. I like Momth.

Do I get some chips now?

~Sibyl